Extra Extra! Eating & Drinking on BART is Now Allowed

After finding a seat on this morning's train at Dublin, I noticed another rider (male probably late 40's early 50's, well dressed) drinking coffee and eating a white powdered donut as if he were still at the donut shop. THe powder was literally flying all over like a duststorm. One little nibble of his donut followed by a loud slurp of coffee. Over and over. I could actually see the donut powder settle on the top of the seat in front of him.

Finally, I decided I was going to tell him "excuse me sir. you're donut looks delicious, where do you buy them. And oh yeah, don't eat in the train buttwipe!". As I leaned to my right to tap him on the shoulder, I noticed that 2/3rds of the riders were either drinking or eating something. One guy unpeeled a smelly brown banana and inhaled it, yuck!. A lady unzipped a plastic bag of Cheerios and began crunching away. Other breakfast specials being served on my train included yogurt, bagels, cold pizza, toast peanut butter sandwich, grapes, oranges, tortilla chips, and the worst, leftover chinese food. I kid you not. All of these were being consumed. I thought I was at a frigging baseball game. I kept waiting for the hot dog vendor to come over with the spicy polish dog.

Needless to say, after realizing I'd get pummeled by the "united coalition for dining equality" army, I pulled away. As I settled back in my seat and closed my eyes, I had these horrific visions of every seat being occupied by Homer Simpson (with coffee and donut) lookalikes.

Face it anti-drinking eating riders, we are completely outnumbered now. BART may as well put a paper towels and handi-wipes dispenser on each platform. If you were to tell someone not to eat, I guarantee he'll respond with a three fingered salute and an impression of Joe Pesci laced profanity.

Some other behaviors associated with eating and drinking are not that far off from being commonplace on the train. People will start excusing themselves to the space between the cars and pee and poop there. You hear "hey! pass me the grey poupon!", "got at extra fork?", "hey, can I have your recipe for that mu shu pork your'e eating?".

Well, first it was the paperspreaders, now the diners. While were at it, let's allow smoking, sex, alcohol, gambling, clothing optional on the train. For those of us trying to stay healthy, how about a mini 24 Hour Fitness on the train. And lastly, I'd like a shoe shine stand, a mobile dry-cleaner, and a florist selling roses on the evening commutes on days I think I might get lucky with wifey.